Don’t wait for others to tell you that you can succeed

January 21, 2022

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Kelly Lewis

Kelly is the founder of Damesly, a boutique women’s tour company, and creator of Go! Girl Guides, the world’s first series of travel guidebooks designed specifically for women. Passionate about helping women connect to their personal power through travel, Kelly also created the annual Women’s Travel Fest to inspire women to create a life and business filled with adventure. 

In addition to traveling, Kelly loves surfing, poetry, hiking, and connecting powerful women to one another. She has visited over 80 countries and every continent in the world. Born in Arizona but raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Portland, Oregon. Learn more at www.tellhershecant.com

Depending on your background, your philosophies, and your traumas, you likely either see the world as a place where anything is possible, or a place where nothing is. 

If you’re surrounded by people who bring you down, whether intentionally or unintentionally, living up to your highest potential can feel like slogging through the mud. 

This was my story, too. I grew up in a world that felt like it constantly told me all I couldn’t do. It took a lot of determination, affirmations, and work to turn this into fuel, but I did, and in doing so, I proved everyone wrong and started living the life I could’ve only imagined beforehand. In my book, Tell Her She Can’t, I interviewed 35 women who were told they “couldn’t” do something, and who did the damn thing anyway. 

Here are some helpful tips on how to boost your confidence, blast past the naysayers, and live your greatest life. 

1. Turn it all into fuel

When you’re trudging through a world full of people who say “no” and “can’t” much more than they say “yes, you’ve got this,” you have to find a way to keep your dream burning hot. The best way I’ve found to do this is to turn alllll of that haterade into fuel. I feel it way down in the pit of my stomach. Imagine yourself as a marathon runner, tapping into that resolve to get through the last mile of a long stretch. You know you’re better than what the people around you are saying, you know your dream or idea is worth pursuing -- and if there’s even a smidge of a small internal voice saying “don’t give up,” then don’t you dare quit! Throw all of it -- all of the negativity, the self doubt, the limiting beliefs of others -- as kindling into the fire of your resilience and burn, baby burn. One day you will prove them all wrong. 

1. Practice unshakable self love

   
   It is so hard sometimes to keep the faith in yourself, your ideas and your abilities. So boosting your self-love is critical. Some great ways I have found to do this include: creating a meditation practice, journaling, practicing positive affirmations, and prioritizing yourself above all else-- even when (perhaps especially when) it feels rude or guilty to do so. You are the maker of your own destiny, the captain of your ship. The only thing that truly matters is how much you care for yourself. 

2. Use it as a challenge

   
   If it feels really hard -- good! The hardest things create the most amount of growth. I meet people all of the time who have really big ideas, but they’re scared to execute them because they seem so hard. This is really just us bluffing on ourselves, because we’re scared of failing. Even the biggest of things are accomplished in a series of little steps that can be broken down. Almost everything comes down to logistics. The bigger issue is our fear of failure. The truth though? There’s no such thing as “failure.” Failure is open to interpretation, and you are guaranteed to learn something along the way. Take a challenge as a green light. Good things come from pushing past all of those limiting beliefs we create, and taking the risk.
   

3. Lead the way

   
   How many people could you inspire, by living out the dream you have for yourself? How many careers might you launch, just by striving to launch your own? You never know how or who you might reach just by sharing your story, chasing your dreams, and moving forward. The people who may have doubted you initially might also become your biggest cheerleader! Lead the way by living your own life, authentically and unapologetically. Do it for yourself, first.
   

4. Believe in yourself 

You are enough. You are special. You are a gift. You CAN.